The Abundant Wife

On Sunday night I made a quick run to Target for a free bottle of Lysol hand soap with a coupon that was expiring.  While I was there I noticed racks of womens’ clothing marked down 70%.  So I decided to try on a few items.  As I looked through the racks, a family of five walked by me.  One of the teenage daughters remarked loud enough for me to hear:

“Once my arms are toned, then I’ll be happy with the way I look.”

A few minutes later I had chosen some items, and headed over to the fitting rooms.  From inside the fitting room, I overheard another young woman remark loudly:

“I want to try a different color.  I hate my hair!”

Finally, just as I was finishing up, I heard a little girl remark to the long-haired fitting room attendant:

“I wish my hair was as long as yours!”

As I left Target, I felt sad for those girls and I wondered where this dissatisfaction with our looks comes from.  Why do we long to look like other women, and not ourselves?  Will we really be happier when our arms are toned, and our hair is a different color or a different length?  Why do we begin to be dissatisfied with our looks at such a young age?

As I changed in and out of my clothes in the fitting room, I couldn’t help but notice my own body.  In my late teens and early twenties I was a lifeguard, I worked at summer camps, I did sit-ups every day, and I ran a marathon.  Today my body shows the wear and tear of 3 kids, and far less time spent exercising and working on my tan.  At 32 years old, I’ve spotted a few grey hairs, wrinkles, and things jiggle where once there was no jiggle.  I spend very little time on my appearance each day, preferring to go without make-up or jewelry.  The only attention my hair gets is a shower and a braid to keep it clean and out of my face.

Why did the conversations I overheard catch my attention?  It’s because I have a 4-year-old who watches my every move and listens to my every word (even if she chooses to disobey it).  When I hear the words of other young women, I wonder, “What do I want Naomi to hear me saying?” and “What do I want Naomi to think about herself?”

I want my little girl to believe that she is beautiful, and that her mother is beautiful.  I want my little girl to be content with how she looks now, instead of dreaming of a day when she will finally be beautiful enough to be happy.  I don’t want my little girl to hate her appearance, but to be grateful for the person God made her to be–inside and out.

I wish that I could protect Naomi from all the voices of our culture that try to tell her what beauty is, but I can’t shut them out completely.  What I can do is change what I say, and what words come out of my mouth.  I want her to overhear me valuing my age, health, and appearance instead of wishing I looked like someone else.  Because I know that in turn, she too will value her beautiful self.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”  –Proverbs 31:30

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment….Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” –1 Peter 3:3-4

This weekend Brad took a bunch of kids on an overnight trip, so I decided to unplug our Internet while he was gone.  I ended up going about 32 hours without using the Internet.  In fact, I wrote this post on Microsoft Word while the Internet was off.  I find it both difficult and refreshing to be off-line.  It’s difficult because I do so much on-line, but it’s refreshing because I like the things I do when I’m off-line.  While off-line on Saturday, I:

• Walked to the Farmer’s Market with all three kids, where we ate strawberries and played by the fountain.
• Walked to the park and played on the playground.
• Walked back to the Farmer’s Market and split a cookie.
• Soaked up the bright blue skies, cooler air, and warm sunshine.
• Made lunches, read books, wrote, and took naps.
• Washed dishes and did laundry.
• “Fixed” our garage door, and then organized our garage while the kids napped, watched a movie, and rode bikes.
• Made dinner, bathed kids, read books, and organized a couple of indoor cabinets.
• Wrote blog posts.

There’s no doubt that I’m more productive when I’m unwired.  I’m also more attentive and patient with the kids.  One of the more humorous benefits is that I find that I stop thinking in “status updates.”  It’s fun to remember how we used to do things without the Internet.  When I need a recipe, want to contact a friend, need to define a word, or want to do some research I have to find an alternative way to do it or put it off until another day.

When was the last time you unplugged from the Internet?  How long did you stay unplugged?  What did you learn?