The Abundant Wife

This morning I woke up feeling like every cell in my body was depleted.  I’ve been struggling with a head cold since last Thursday.  On top of that I haven’t been getting enough sleep.  Naomi was up in the middle of the night, as was Oliver.  I dragged myself out of bed despite a pounding headache.  Brad started the coffee pot, and reminded me that I needed to get going because he needed to leave for a meeting in Sacramento by 9am.

I’ve got to tell you, the honeymoon is definitely over.  I am more than half-way through my 30 Days of Prayer, and the novelty has worn off.  The condom wrappers and dried-up vomit on the sidewalk next to the school no longer inspire me to pull out a sheet of paper and pen to take notes.  I’m tired of the wind making my ears sore, and tired of worrying that I’ll get hit by a car as I cross busy streets.  When the alarm beeps I wonder why on earth I decided to take on this challenge when I could be staying in my nice warm bed for a few more minutes.

Hebrews 12:1 -3 is very encouraging to me when I want to give up: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

When I grow weary, lose heart, face opposition, am hindered, and become entangled by sin, I can look at Jesus.  I can run this race with perseverance knowing that he pioneered, perfected, endured, and ultimately won the victory.  When we run together toward Jesus, lifting one another up in prayer, we can endure.

Why is it that when something is wrong, our first instinct is to talk about it?  We talk and talk, to anyone who will listen.  I think that this is especially a problem among women.  We worry and gossip and meddle when we should be praying.  We even use the times of sharing “Prayer Requests” at  our local churches, Bible studies, and prayer meetings as opportunities for gossip disguised as spirituality.

Apparently this problem was common in Bible times as well.  1 Timothy 5:13-14 sees young widows (which I am also applying to women in general) who “get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house.  And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.”  He counsels these women “to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.” 

Did you get that?  These women were idle busybodies who spoke (or called, texted, facebooked, tweeted, blogged, or e-mailed) about others instead of managing their own homes.  The result of their idle chatter was that they gave the enemy an opportunity for slander.  Ephesians 4:27 warns us “do not give the devil a foothold.”  When you choose to talk about something or someone instead of praying about it, you are giving the devil ample opportunity to gain a foothold in your life and in the lives of others.  You are giving the devil the opportunity to slander God’s name, God’s character, and God’s people.  This is serious stuff!

So next time, before you talk about it, go to God in prayer about it.  He loves to hear from his children.  God promises that if you will ask him for something in prayer, and believe he will do it, then you will receive it!  Now isn’t that a lot better than just talking about it?

 ^“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”  Matthew 21:22

Last night when we went to bed, Brad reminded me that he had an 8am appointment, so I needed to return early enough so that he wouldn’t be late.  Instead I dragged myself out of bed at 6:35am, and ended up in the office listing all the things I needed to get done all week.  By the time I got out of the shower and got dressed it was 7:20am and much too late for me to go for a walk and get back in time.  I felt discouraged about missing my walk and prayer and quiet time.

A large part of my failure was due to a lack of preparation.  I didn’t set out my clothes, prep the coffee pot, or set the table the night before.  I didn’t go grocery shopping on Saturday, so we were out of oatmeal and bread.  I didn’t plan my weekly schedule on Sunday afternoon, so I felt scattered on Monday morning.  As Ben Franklin said it so well, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

This afternoon I put the kids down for a nap, and went for a walk during the heat of the day.  Brad wrote thank you notes while I walked around the high school with a roll of duct tape, hanging posters advertising our next club.  Although I didn’t get to walk and pray when I’d hoped, it was still nice to get out and see what the school was like at midday.  I passed at least three different P.E. classes outside playing sports in their matching t-shirts and athletic shorts.  Even when we fail, God is our strength.  We can get up again and keep going because he loves and forgives us.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

This morning I was running late.  I’ve been feeling under the weather for the last two days, with a sore throat and congestion in my head and chest.  Still I reminded myself that this was the last day of walking and praying this week, and then tomorrow is Saturday.  I grabbed a few posters advertising the next club, and headed out the door.  I took some posters to the school’s front office, and then kept going.  My brain felt fuzzy from being tired and sick, so I was a bit distracted.

As I walked down the street behind the football stadium, I spotted a large basset hound ambling around his front yard.  I wasn’t worried; my dad is a veterinarian, so I’m very comfortable around animals.  I looked around and asked out loud for an owner, but there was no one around.  The dog briefly acknowledged me, but then went back to sniffing around.  As I went to walk past his house on the sidewalk, the dog suddenly let out a howl and ran straight at me.  He lunged at my body, but I side-stepped him so that the weight of his body hit my legs instead, almost knocking me over.  I stumbled, but then kept on walking as usual.  Thankfully he didn’t attempt to bite me, but went right back to ambling around the yard as if nothing had happened.

I didn’t know how to respond to the surprising interruption in my walking routine.  I did take a few moments to look around, wondering if anyone else had just seen what happened, but again there was no one around.  However, I was now wide awake and very aware of my surroundings.  I laughed at the ridiculousness of an old basset hound almost taking me out.

Like the basset hound interrupting my walking routine, getting up to walk and pray every morning has interrupted my daily routine.  My head feels clearer, and I feel more aware of my surroundings.  My husband appreciates my investment in the ministry, and my kids appreciate the time I’m spending with them.  I feel more in tune Brad and the kids, and I feel like my priorities are more in order.  I like that I’m now showered and dressed by 7:30am every day, and that I’m getting at least 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week.  I also like that I’m getting about an hour of alone time and just getting out of the house 5 days a week.  I love having the time to pray, think, and reflect at the beginning of each day.  So aside from the obvious benefits of praying, getting up early to pray has really shaken up my daily routine in a good way.

I’m really glad I decided to take on this challenge.  If you have been walking and praying for your local high school, I hope you are pleased with the changes it is making in your life too.

Every day when I’m about to leave for my walk, or immediately after I return from my walk, my two oldest children (ages 2 and 4) follow me around the house:  “Mommy, I want to walk around the high school and pray for the kids!  Mommy, I want to go to the coffee shop and have a donut!  Mommy, can I come with you?”

Do you want your children to learn how to pray?  Then you need to take the time to pray.  As the quotation above reads, “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.”

Yesterday, Naomi lost her favorite “baby” that always sleeps beside her.  Normally it would not occur to me to pray for her toy, but since I’ve been practicing the discipline of prayer, I asked her to pray with me.  I prayed first, and then she repeated my words after me: “Dear Jesus, please help us to find Naomi’s baby.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”  An hour later when the toy turned up in the laundry basket, we were overjoyed that Jesus helped us to find it.  Again Naomi repeated after me, “Dear Jesus, thank you for helping us to find Naomi’s baby.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Your children are watching you every day, absorbing everything you do.  What do you want them to learn from you?

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4

This morning I did not know what to pray for.  I prayed for many of the same things I have been praying for lately, and observed many of the same sights.  A dozen cats roaming around outside my neighbor’s house.  A teenage girl texting as she walked to school.  Empty cigarette boxes on the ground, and a beer can lobbed over the high school’s chain link perimeter fence.  Parents dropping off kids at the curb.  Mothers walking elementary school students to school.

What do you pray when you don’t know what to pray for?  I’m sure God doesn’t mind hearing the same prayers over and over again.  As parents love to hear from their children, God loves to hear from us.  Adoration.  Confession.  Thanksgiving.  Supplication.  Today I had “Who is this King of Glory” by Third Day stuck in my head.  It’s a hymn of adoration, based on Psalm 24:8-10, “Who is this King of Glory…the Lord strong and mighty…the Lord Almighty…he is the King of Glory.”  Today I confessed how often as a blogger, I point my readers to myself (or Dave Ramsey or Money Saving Mom…) instead of to Christ.  I thanked God for the great feedback we’ve received from the high school kids about Monday night’s club.  I asked God to continue to provide the funds that keep us from going on reduced salary.

If you don’t know what to pray for, or feel that your prayers are repetitive, you don’t need to worry.  Romans 8:26-27 tells us that “The Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches our hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”  Your prayers need not be fancy, inspirational, or unique every day.  God knows your heart, and he will answer your prayers according to his perfect will.

Today is the first day of October.  Have you noticed yet that all of my posts are one day behind?  I actually walk Monday-Friday, but then I write up my post sometime later in the day.  They should then show up in your e-mail or on your Facebook page Tuesday-Saturday.

Anyhow, today is the first day of October.  Today I took note of Halloween decorations, pumpkins, mums, and neighbors walking their dogs.  Today is trash day, so the streets were again lined with blue, grey, and green trash cans.  It’s taken me 10 days of walking, but finally I have begun to notice the trash on the ground where I walk.  Occasionally I pick up a piece of trash and carry it to a nearby trash can.  This morning I picked up a beer box full of cheetos and an empty prescription medication bottle.  Yesterday’s sobering post was on my mind as I walked today, realizing that so many of these students walk or ride their bikes to school every day right by the trash, gangs, drugs, alcohol, and violence.

Last night was our big bi-weekly club hosted by the coffee shop, and about 40 people from 2 counties showed up to laugh, sing, play games, eat snacks, and hear about Jesus.  The air was electric and the laughter was contagious.  A couple of football players and our teenage guitarist won raffle prizes.  On a black September night, in a city that has known its share of darkness, the light from that little coffee shop shown like a beacon.  As I stood in the coffee shop surrounded by a crowd of exuberant teenagers, I knew that my prayers of the last 9 days were being answered.

So today as I walked, I prayed with gratitude.  I thanked God for my husband, our leaders, drivers, committee, photographers, parents, tech support, musicians, and the coffee shop owners.  I am so grateful for every person who loves these high school kids enough to want them to experience the love of Jesus Christ.  What a privilege it is to work with this amazing team of adults every week.  I am so thankful for every teenager who made it last night, and pray that God will begin to work in their hearts as they hear the gospel message presented.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:14-16

Brad and I both grew up in rural Western Maryland, surrounded by the Appalachian mountains and rolling farmland.  Although we have lived in China and Minnesota, we still feel like country kids at heart.  So when we moved to a small city in California, we were surprised to hear of crimes so near our home.  In the two years since we have moved here, we’ve heard of several shootings and other violent crimes:

• 2 men were shot outside a nearby bar.
• 2 teenagers were shot in a nearby home during a gang-related incident.
• 1 man was shot outside a local market.
• 3 people were killed and 1 person was critically injured during a domestic dispute.
• 1 man was shot during a drug-related incident one block away.
• 1 elderly woman was found tortured and dismembered after her next-door neighbor robbed her.

As you can imagine, word of these crimes in more than enough to worry a mother of small children (or any mother for that matter).  Some of these incidents happened so close that they were in places where I walked regularly pushing the kids in the stroller.  The street next to us has begun a neighborhood watch program, and our neighbors have expressed concern over the recent increase in violence.

However, when I go for my morning walks around the school, I see the same sights that you will find in most towns.  This morning as I walked outside, I heard an ear-splitting, “MOM!!!”  I walked back to my house thinking it was one of my kids, and then realized it was one of the neighbors’ kids.  I walked by toddlers fighting against their dad who was trying to drop them off for daycare.  I walked by a school bus waiting on two elementary school students who were running late.  I waved at a man who came outside to get something from his car, and two men who sat smoking on their front stoop.  I greeted several teenagers as I walked, and gave four girls invitations to our club.

At times I have been fearful to leave our home because of the dangers surrounding it.  But if I never leave my home, then I can never love my neighbor.  Mother Theresa famously said, “I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor.  Do you know your next door neighbor?”  Indeed, if we want to love our neighbors, then we must get to know them.  Putting our fears aside, we must venture out and meet our neighbors.

“The most important commandment is this…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12:30-31

This morning I struggled to get out of bed.  Last night I stayed up until 11:15pm on the computer (a habit I’d like to break) and then I had a night full of interruptions.  Oliver woke up at 3:30am, so after tending to him I had a hard time falling asleep again.  Evelyn roused too, and slept fitfully until 5:30am when Brad changed her diaper and brought her to me.  Again, I had trouble falling asleep after putting her back to bed.  So when the alarm rang at 6:30am I hit the snooze twice before getting up.

Then Naomi and Oliver both showed up at the door, wanting to come along for my morning walk.  I chose Naomi since Oliver has been getting up almost every day to come with me.  I grabbed a roll of yellow duct tape and 10-15 posters Brad made advertising our next youth ministry club.  Naomi is my most outgoing child, so she talked during our entire walk.  We stopped by the school’s front office, and dropped off a couple posters there.  We also taped posters to the traffic light posts around the school.  Finally we arrived at the coffee shop, and I ended up chatting with another woman who was there with her toddler and her mother.

So, needless to say, I didn’t get much praying done today.  I prayed for students I saw unloading from school buses, and being dropped off by their parents, and I prayed for the students who will attend our next club.  However, I wasn’t discouraged.  I reminded myself that if I wait for perfect conditions, I will never get anything done.  Ecclesiastes 11:4 says that “Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.”  Forming a new habit is difficult, but what matters is that I keep trying even when it’s hard.

What circumstances make it difficult for you to develop a habit of prayer?  What can you do to avert those circumstances?

Last night we had the entire high school freshmen football team, coaches, and a few of their family members over for spaghetti, Italian bread, Caesar salad, and ice cream sandwiches. I have never seen so much food disappear so quickly!  It was a whirlwind day, but so much fun to be able to serve the team in this way.  Tonight Brad was out on the field with them again, watching them win their fourth game in a row.

This morning in Bible Study Fellowship our teacher told us that Jesus spent nine-tenths (90%) of his life in the secular world.  If you are a Christian, are you following Christ’s example and spending nine-tenths of your life in the secular world?  I know that I’m not.  I think I did when I was teaching full-time, but since becoming a stay-at-home-mom I don’t get out as much.  I know this is a short phase of my life, and I am content to stay home and train up my children for the short time that I have them home with me.  Whatever phase of life you are in, I challenge you to look around you.  Where can you get involved in sharing the gospel message with the secular world around you?

This morning as I walked around the high school, I prayed specifically for the football team, coaches, parents, and siblings that I met last night.  I prayed for the fans and those who look up to the football players for leadership.  I prayed for those I met with broken homes and financial difficulties.  I prayed for my husband as he reaches out to these teenagers, who are still boys at heart.  I also continue to pray for the courage to start talking to the teenagers I meet as I walk.  I hope you will pray for me as I walk, and I will pray for you too!