The Abundant Wife

Naomi: 11 weeks 4 days old

“Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother’s womb you have been my Father.” Ps. 22: 9-10

Dear family and friends,

Yesterday was a memorable day for the Distad family! Brad and I went to Beijing with Jess Shamblee, for our monthly appointment at the Beijing United Family Hospital. From 11:45 to 1:30 we had a great time learning about our firstborn child.

When we arrived at the hospital, we were immediately ushered into the ultrasound suite where we waited next to a pretty young blonde girl for our turn. As we began to talk to her, we found out that her name is Kristin, she is from Ontario and that this is her second year in China. She told us how she had flown in from Wuhan, in central China. As we exchanged information, we were surprised to find out that she is a graduate of Calvin College! She and her husband studied there (Elementary Education and Physical Education) and graduated in 2007. They now teach at the International school in Wuhan, and she is 7 weeks pregnant with their first. What a small world! We had a fun (though brief) time talking about being pregnant in China before she was called for her ultrasound.

After Kristin’s ultrasound, we parted ways, and then it was our turn. It was immediately obvious that the baby grew quite a bit in 5 weeks! Last month we could barely see our little progeny, and the technician judged that it was about 2 days behind its due date. This time the hungry little leach had more than devoured its share of my body’s resources, and measured in at 3 days ahead of its due date. So it made up 5 days of growth in the last 5 weeks. This is great news of course…a big baby is a healthy baby! On the monitor we could see the over-sized head, small body, tiny arms and legs, and a twisted umbilical cord. We could see its little nose, lips, chin, and ears. We could also see the little heart beating a fuzzy blur in the abdomen. It was so exciting! Brad snapped lots of photos of our 2 ½ inch miracle.

After the ultrasound, we went upstairs for our appointment, only to find out that Doctor Bian had to leave for the airport. So we were assigned to Doctor Chang, whom I immediately liked better. She has kind eyes and a warm manner, and spoke comfortably and fluently in English. She recorded my medical history and then explained to us what would happen in this and upcoming appointments. Brad was particularly eager to know the sex of the child, but she assured us that will have to wait until a sonogram at 15-20 weeks reveals this information. Brad and I laughed though when she explained that some people believe that if the mother becomes more beautiful, then the baby will be a girl, and if the mother becomes more ugly (acne and a wider nose and lips), then the baby will be a boy. She also said that some believe a big appetite or an appetite for foods with vinegar means a boy, and a smaller appetite for more papery foods means a girl. Oh China!

After our little conference, she invited me to lay on the exam table so that we could listen to the baby’s heartbeat. She took out a special stethoscope with a speaker on it. Brad videotaped these first sounds for posterity. There was a lot of static at first, and then the rapid but steady sound of a heartbeat. I gasped when I heard the sound, and then got quiet so that I could hear every beat. To me it sounded like a sucking sound, and it sounded like it was underwater, but there it was. Doctor Chang said that it sounded like a train, and reminded me that our baby’s heart beats much faster than ours.

After the heartbeat, I was subjected to the typical OB exam including a culture, urinalysis, and blood tests. Even having blood drawn from both arms (I have tricky veins) didn’t dampen my spirits. We saw our baby and heard its heartbeat! It was incredible! What a relief to know that despite 5 weeks of food-aversions, nausea, and vomiting, we still have a healthy and strong child who is growing ahead of schedule. What a beautiful and awe-inspiring experience it is to bear witness to new life!

Thank you Father for watching over our baby, even when it is hidden from our sight. Thank you for being its Father even before it knows the voices of its own father and mother. Thank you for using my body in amazing ways to create an hospitable environment to nurture new life. It amazes me that you could use my womb to comfortably cradle our child in perfect warmth with a steady supply of nutrients and the necessities for growth. How could I even fathom the details of your most intricate creation? Thank you for doing what I could never do, even if I knew how. You are the Giver of Life, the Creator of All Things, the Great Artist. Thank you for painting your most complex masterpiece on this canvas, beneath my ever-expanding waistline. You are AWESOME. Thank you for allowing us to witness this miracle.

Love,
Jessie

Naomi: 6 weeks 4 days old

“Get comfortable and then number from one to five. List five trite, cliched, and heartwarming topics that are very ‘human.’ The goal of your list is to come up with what you might call the ‘Reader’s Digest’ quotient, that is, a topic almost anyone can relate to. Choose one of your topics. Set pen to page and allow yourself to be detailed and human for one hour. Do not worry about being hip. Do not worry about being sentimental. Recall to mind in precise detail what is memorable and lovable about your subject.” –Julia Cameron, The Right to Write, pg. 192

Dear Baby,

Today you are only the smallest of things…a little ball of cells gradually becoming more human (and less tadpole-like) each day. Circulatory system, heart, kidneys, lungs, brain, spinal cord…dents for eyes and ears, buds for arms and legs. You’re not much to look at yet; in fact if I didn’t tell anyone, they’d never even know that you existed.

I know you exist. I am reminded every time I race urgently to the bathroom, drag myself out of bed with fatique, or struggle to find a comfortable position for sleeping because of my changing shape. I notice you when my moods swing, and when common smells give me uncommon feelings.

Your Dad and I are so excited for your arrival! I’m not even showing yet, and he kisses my belly and talks to you. I think he’s going to like you a lot. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a happier father-to-be. He talks about teaching you soccer, and spending all his spare time with you. I spend my spare time reading books, studying the Internet, asking questions, and pondering your name. We can’t wait to meet you for the first time!

We are so excited to teach you all that you will need to know. From speaking and walking and tying your shoes, to the love your Father has for you and the great plan He has for your life. You will be an amazing child, with unique gifts and a unique personality. We look forward to helping you discover who you are and what you want to do and be. Whatever you choose, we will always love you, because you are our child—a blessing from our Father.

We are already making preparations for you, even though you are only six weeks created. We think of you daily, and hope for your health and safety before and after birth. We’ve scheduled an appointment with the best hospital in town, to see that you get the best care possible. We’ve talked to my parents about staying with them when you are born next summer, and we’re trying to decide where to live and work next year that will be best for you and for us. I want you to know that our Father’s will for us is our first priority though, and we will go wherever he leads us. I also want you to know that your Dad and I will always love each other—even more than we love you. You are a dream come true for us, and a wonderful result of our love for each other, and our Father’s love for all of us.

I love you,
Mom

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.

On Thursday night I was getting ready for bed, I experienced the most unusual of sensations. I eyed myself in the mirror as I changed into a tie-dyed t-shirt and pajama pants. Nothing seemed different at first glance. Yet I felt…different. I gently examined myself, finding my flesh more rounded, tender, and tingling. I asked Brad if he could see a difference.

“You’re pregnant!” he said, after studying me for a moment.

“I am not! That’s not even a symptom of pregnancy!” I replied, disbelieving.

I went to grab a book on pregnancy, reading aloud:

“Symptoms include darkening skin, enlarged glands, fatigue, smell sensitivity, bloating, mood swings, urinary frequency, flatulence, nausea…tenderness and tingling sensation.”

My mouth dropped open. Aside from nausea, I’d experienced every symptom on the list.

That’s when I knew.

Over the next few days I was more than a little distracted. My body felt completely different in my clothing, and made me self-conscious. Could everyone see it? But no one noticed at all. It was all I could do to wait until Sunday to take the test. On Friday I almost caved, but then put the test away again. On Saturday, my curiosity and excitement got the best of me. I rolled out of bed, exhausted from a bad cold, and took my test to the bathroom. Two minutes later I had my answer. A little blue plus sign announced a new life to the world.

“Brad…we’re going to have a baby!”

The news was not a surprise. We’d planned to have a baby in the summer of 2009 over a year ago, hoping to have our first child at home during our summer vacation, surrounded by family and friends. A July baby fits the bill perfectly. We did our homework, talked to the OB/GYN, checked to see that our insurance covered pregnancy, checked to see that the OB/GYN accepted our insurance, asked about prenatal care in Beijing, talked to our boss, picked up books, calculated dates, and most importantly…talked to our Father. We were prepared for this result. Yet can you ever prepare for the first time you realize that your body is changing because someone else is living in it? Suffice to say, Brad and I could not be more excited to be pregnant with our first child! So much talking and dreaming and planning and imagining has gone into this venture into parenthood.

Telling our family and friends was almost more fun than finding out for ourselves! We told our team first, and enjoyed watching their responses go from curiosity to confusion to recognition and then excitement. Brad woke his parents and Mr. Bair at home with the good news. They were groggy but happy to hear about our discovery. I got to video-Skype my parents, Kristy, Karilyn, and Josh together and hear their gasps as I told Mom and Dad that they are going to be grandparents. Kerri and my grandmother were equally surprised when I reached them Sunday night. We called our boss and friends at home and in China and loved listening to everything from surprised gasps, shrieks, and screams to proud congratulations.

For now we have only told our team here in China and our family and friends at home. We hope to hold off on telling the students and faculty until the latter part of this semester. We hope that you will all keep the three of us in your thoughts as we seek prenatal care in Beijing and begin this nine-month process called pregnancy. The first trimester is the most crucial time, so please think of us especially in these early months. Thank you for all of your thoughts on our behalf. We are so excited as we embark on this new journey into parenthood together!

Love,
Jessie and Brad

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.