The Abundant Wife

Dear Naomi,

Yesterday as your Dad and I were driving home on Halloween night, we were remembering the annual Halloween Ball in Langfang, China one year ago. It was on that day that I took the test that confirmed we were pregnant, and on that night that we told our team in China that we were expecting. I can’t believe how much has happened since then! This past week you were 16 weeks old: a whole 4 months! It’s so hard to believe how fast you are growing, or to remember what our lives were like without you.

My favorite part of my day is going to get you when you wake up in the morning. You are such a sound sleeper, usually sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Sometimes when I come in to get you, you are laying perpendicular, or even completely backwards from how I laid you in the bed. When you wake up in the morning, you entertain yourself with your voice. Sometimes you lay there for an hour cooing, laughing, squealing, and razzing at various volumes. When I go in to get you, you grin and “talk” to me, your big blue eyes wide and luminous. If you’re not ready to get up yet, you rub your little soft hands over your eyes and squint at me, wondering why I’ve disturbed you so early. When I change your diaper you lift your legs out of the way, or kick them hard with excitement. When I tease you about the mess you’ve made, you grin mischievously.

I love to watch you sleep! You usually fall asleep in my arms at night as we watch a downloaded movie or TV show. Your head falls back, your mouth is partially open, and your arms hang limp over your head. Two weeks ago you fell asleep like this in the school cafeteria during lunch, and amused more than a few teachers and students. You’ll sleep anywhere, through any noise. Last week you fell asleep on a high schooler in the cafeteria, and two nights ago you fell asleep on me during the Open Gym Night at the Evangelical Free church. You curled up in a ball against my chest, sucking your thumb, and slept, while the other moms envied me. You sleep through loud football games at the Dinnerbel, committee meetings, and early mornings at the Northwoods Roasterie. In the Pack ‘N’ Play, you always roll to your left side to sleep, your left thumb in your mouth, while your right arm covers your face.

You love to nurse, and I haven’t had any problems with you nursing. For the first month it hurt a lot, and I bled a lot, but you never gave up trying. Now I am amused by your affection for my breasts. You stroke them with your free hand, yank my shirt around with your little fist, and even occasionally talk to them! Lately you’ve been more distracted by the noises around you. Your Dad’s voice is especially interesting to you. This makes for a funny little drama as you suckle and then spin your head around to look at him, then suckle, then spin, suckle, spin, suckle, spin. You’ll give him a huge toothless grin, content to be eating with your two favorite people nearby. If I speak to you or smile while you’re nursing, you’ll let go long enough to give me a great big grin, and then shove your head back under my shirt again.

You are developing so fast! In the swing you practice your baby sounds at the top of your lungs while I make dinner and Daddy does the laundry. Recently I took you to Walmart, and you drew the attention of everyone in the store with your vocal calisthenics. You “sing” with Daddy when he plays the guitar, and your favorite toy to stuff in your mouth is a little pink blanket with a silky underside. In the car seat you now sleep soundly, even though it used to make you scream. When I play with you, you chuckle or laugh out loud, and when I stand you in front of the mirror you stomp your feet and yell happily at your reflection. You can’t roll over on your own yet, but when I roll you to your stomach, you lift yourself up on your arms to look around. You love to be naked, and when I undress you for your bath, you grin madly, shrieking and stomping your feet as you look around. You love to kick your feet in the bathtub, getting me soaked in the process. You’ve loved to stand up (assisted of course) since you were five weeks old, and you love to bounce on Daddy’s knees until you fall asleep there (even in the middle of a rowdy Chisago Lakes football game!)

Your Dad and I still have a lot of doubts about our parenting abilities, but we love you very very much. More than a few times I’ve rushed into your bedroom in the middle of the night, afraid that you’d stopped breathing, or worrying that you were too cold. We have fallen in love with you, and at times it seems our hearts will burst with the immensity of this love. Who would have thought we’d have room for so much love in our hearts? You are our beautiful little girl, perfect in every way. You have brought so much joy and laughter to our lives. You have given us the freedom to be children at heart again. Thank you for the blessing it is to be your parents.

Love,
Mommy

Naomi: 39 weeks, 4 days

Dear Naomi,

It is hard to believe that nine months have passed already, and your due date is only two days away! You’ve turned our worlds upside down already, without you even knowing it. Brad and I been students, teachers, professors, coaches, leaders, actors, waiters, camp counselors, artists, and more, but we have never been parents before. It’s a whole new world for us: cribs, bassinets, diapers, breastfeeding, childbirth, childcare, pediatricians, pacifiers, jogging strollers, car seats, bibs, and tiny clothes. Your presence has changed our values, our priorities, our conversations, our dreams, our perspective. You’ve matured our relationship and brought us closer together than ever before.

Physically, you’ve brought so many changes to my life. From first trimester nausea (or maybe it was just the Chinese food!) to third trimester itchy hands and feet, you’ve affected my body. Everything is new with you: maternity clothes, heartburn, swollen feet, and Braxton-Hicks. You’ve gone from unnoticed to an unmistakable basketball-sized bump with the weight of a bowling ball! As the months passed by you developed the skills of an acrobat as you kicked, jumped, rolled, spun, and hiccuped your way around my abdomen. Brad and I love to watch and feel your feet move under the surface of my skin in some strange internal dance.

Brad and I joke about the life we are bringing you into, and how it hasn’t gone exactly as we had planned. We never hoped to be bringing you into our lives at a time when we are unemployed, interviewing for jobs, and living in my parents’ basement. We don’t have a beautiful nursery prepared or your college education financed, and we don’t even know where we will be working or living in two months. Our lives are in limbo except for the inevitable reality of your arrival in the next week or so. We’ve read a lot of books and gotten a lot of advice, but in so many ways, we will never be ready for you. I imagine that on-the-job-training is the best preparation we can get, so we’ll have to ask for your forgiveness now for all of the mistakes we will make with you.

Yet for all of that, we would not trade you for the world. We know that God will provide for all of the unknowns, in His perfect timing, and according to His perfect will. You are also a part of his perfect timing for us, and He will always provide for your needs when you ask Him. You have already brought so much joy and hope to our lives and the lives of those around us. You are the result of the love Brad and I share for one another, and the great love that God has for all of us. You are already His child, perfectly formed for the life He has ahead for you. Although Brad and I have so little to offer you now in the way of wealth or possessions, we are abundantly rich in love, faith, family, and relationships. You may lack for many things in your life, but you will never be lacking in love. Already we long for the moment when we get to see you and hold you, to welcome you into our family, and get to know you. Your arrival is only days away, and we cannot wait to meet you!

Love,
Mom and Dad

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

On Saturday morning, April 11, Brad and I awoke bright and early to grey skies over Langfang. The morning was busy as we finished last minute preparations for the 10 guests who would be arriving around 11am. We hoped the weather would clear up before the guys played basketball in the afternoon. I showered, washed dishes, and straightened up around the apartment. I heard a commotion in the hall around 10am, and looked out the peephole where I was amused to see Shannon and Jess Shamblee wearing colorful baseball caps and giggling about something. I poked my head out of the door, just as they simultaneously knocked on our door. They presented me with a bright pink invitation wrapped in a fat white ribbon—an invitation to a surprise Baby Shower at 2pm!

I was momentarily confused as I started to put together various interactions from the last few weeks and realized what they were saying. Shannon and Jess told me to just relax as the rest of our guests arrived, and asked me not to enter Jess’ apartment as they prepared. With the change of plans, I spent the rest of the morning getting ready at a slower pace and listening as our friends arrived and entered Jess’ apartment to help with the shower preparations. The guys left to play basketball together shortly before the shower began, and only the girls were left in the building.

At 2pm I knocked on Jess Shamblee’s door, and was greeted by nine smiling girls: fellow IECS teachers Shannon, Jess, Courtney, Emily, and Amelia, Chinese students Sunshine, Cassie, and Danielle, and Tim’s girlfriend Melissa. Jess put a bright pink headband on my head and a pink wand in my hand, both topped with little pig-tailed baby doll heads. I laughed as I looked around the room at pink and purple balloons and bright posters that read: “Welcome Baby Girl Distad!” “It’s a girl!” and “Made in China!” A line of baby diapers filled the windowsill, delicious foods covered Jess’ desk, and colorful gifts hid the coffee table from sight.

Shannon began our activities with introductions and an explanation (for our Chinese friends) of the foods on the desktop, including deviled eggs, brownies, peanut candies, fruit, and funfetti cake (for later). She also explained the clothespins on our shirts, which would be taken away if we dared say the taboo word, “Baby.” I was the first to lose all of my clothespins! After snacks and some initial photos, we played the “Baby Name Game.” Each girl suggested a baby name which I then drew from a hat and read aloud. The names suggested were Eleanor Rose (Elle), Natasha Joy, Britney, Eva, Lydia Faith, Surprised Gift, Elise Marie, Xin Yi (Happy Harmony), and Allison Love. Then Jess unveiled the name “Naomi Faith,” cleverly hidden on a poster under the words “Baby Girl.”

For the next game the girls had to guess the circumference of my “Baby Belly” using lengths of blue yarn. We laughed at the various strategies used, including Courtney’s method of measuring her own head and waist and adding the two distances together. Cassie was the winner of this activity and the name game, taking home a “family” of hangers and a notebook. The last game was called “Dirty Diaper ID” and it had us all in stitches! Jess had melted 6 candy bars in 6 diapers, and it was our challenge to identify the chocolate by appearance and smell. The results were hilarious, as you can imagine! Amelia was the winner of this activity, correctly identifying a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, Almond Joy, Hershey’s Milk Chocolate, Snickers, Hershey’s Green Tea Chocolate, and a Mint 3 Musketeers.

After the games, I got to open the gifts from the girls who were there, and some from friends who couldn’t make it to the party. The whole group gave us a “Ching-ting” (Dragonfly) Chinese baby bib, and Sunshine gave us 2 pink and white baby bibs. Jess Shamblee gave us a pink shirt with matching blanket, and Tony & Lily gave us 2 yellow and white shirts with a matching blanket. Wil & Courtney gave us baby shoes, a shirt, and overalls, and Emily & Amelia gave us Chinese baby shoes, a shirt, hand socks, and slit Chinese pants. Frank & Helen gave us a magnetic photo tree, and Shannon & Peter gave us a pink baseball and tiny “Crocs with Socks.” Each card was so thoughtfully written, and each gift so thoughtfully chosen! Naomi will certainly make a fashion statement in all of her tiny adorable outfits!

After the gifts were unwrapped, Shannon and Jess led all the girls in “thinking” about Brad and me and Naomi and our future together. After this time of encouragement, all of us had funfetti cake and took group photos. Then we relaxed for the rest of the afternoon, talking and laughing and taking more photos. We laughed as Shannon and Jess put clothespins in Sunshine’s hair, and Melissa and Courtney practiced eating cake as if they were in a wedding. It was a great day and a great surprise! What a delightful way to celebrate new life and friendship! Thanks again girls!

Love,
Brad, Jessie, & Naomi

Naomi: 28 weeks

Our dearest daughter,

Before Brad and I were pregnant with you, I spent most of the summer studying the story of Ruth and Naomi. I love the romance of Ruth and Boaz, the loyalty and reputation of Ruth, and the good character of Boaz. I also love the story of Naomi, a broken woman who finds redemption. It is in honor of this dear woman, that we have decided to name you, “Naomi Faith.”

Naomi: Naomi was a woman whose life was bitter after losing her husband and two sons in a foreign land. She went away full, and came back empty. She felt the Father had afflicted her and brought misfortune on her. But the Father gave her a loyal and determined daughter-in-law named Ruth who was “better than seven sons.” The Father redeemed Naomi’s life through Ruth and Boaz, who gave her another son, the grandfather of King David. The women said to Naomi, “Praise be to the Father who has not left you without a kinsman-redeemer…He will renew you and sustain you in your old age” (Rth 4:14-15). Naomi also means: pleasant, enjoyment, gratification, beautiful, delightful, lovable, my delight. Naomi, you are already a delight. Every day your presence increases the beauty, love, and joy of our lives.

Faith: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Heb. 11:1). “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not of yourselves, it is the Father’s gift—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are His workmanship…” (Eph. 2:8-10). We are saved through by grace, through faith, and not by anything we ourselves have done to earn it. Faith is also one of the three great virtues from 1 Cor. 13: 1-13. It also means: trust, loyalty, allegiance, covenant, commitment, dedication, consecration, complete confidence, belief in the Father and acceptance of his will. You may not yet be aware of it, but faith has brought your father and I together, faith has directed our paths, and faith has brought you into our lives.

Your father and I have experienced brokenness, bitterness, and hard times in our lives, and we know that you will too. It is inevitable. But we also know that you will never be left without a Redeemer who will redeem, renew, and sustain your life. Like Naomi, you can be assured that he will never leave you or forget you. Faith (or trusting the Father) is probably the virtue I struggle with the most, so I want to grant it to you as a gift. Faith is foundational to our lives and our calling, and it is our most precious hope for you. Even as I feel you kicking in my womb, it is my most earnest hope that you will have faith in our Father and in his great love for you.

Love Always,
Mom

Naomi: 20 weeks, 2 days

“Am I a Father nearby, and not a Father far away? Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him? Do not I fill heaven and earth?” Jer. 23:23-24

Dear Baby Girl,

It’s hard to believe that you are already 21 weeks old! I’ve read that you’re about the size of a large banana, a thought that brings funny images to mind. 🙂

You’re not a banana though. You’re an active little girl! Last week your Grandma and I reclined in “Little Italian,” a restaurant in Guilin. We’d spent the day on the Li River, and were waiting for dinner while your Dad and Grandpa went out to get some drinks for us. We talked about waiting for your first movements, and the little flutterings that I might mistake for you. Just as the men returned, there is was—two firm nudges just above my belly button. Since then your movements have become more regular and more firm. Your Dad can’t feel them yet, but he will soon!

We are so excited about your arrival! We love talking about what we will name you and what we will teach you and our philosophies for child-rearing. We love wondering what you will look like and what you will be like. We wonder what tastes and sounds you already favor. We look forward to playing with you and caring for you and telling you all about your Father and your heritage.

We often wonder if you’ll love to travel since you’ve already been to China and America! During the pregnancy you’ve been to cities like San Francisco, Langfang, Beijing, Tianjin, Baoding, Shenzhen, Hong Kong, Sanya (Tropical Beaches), Badaling (The Great Wall), Guilin, Yangshuo (Li River), and Longsheng (Terraces). You’ve also had five different doctors of different backgrounds (Korean, Chinese, Australian, and more) We wonder if you’ll have a special love for Chinese food or if you’ll dream of visiting this land where your great great grandfather, father, and mother lived and served.

You are such a beautiful little girl, and we can’t wait to meet you and hold you. You are our dream come true, a beautiful result of the Father’s love for all of us, and our love for one another.

Love always,
Mom

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Ps. 32:7

Naomi: 15 weeks 4 days old

“Always be in a state of expectancy, and see that you leave room for the Father to come in as He likes.” –Oswald Chambers

Dear Friends,

On the morning of January 10, 2009 my friend Danielle met Brad and me at our apartment before boarding the train bound for Beijing. We were on our way to our monthly OB/GYN appointment at Beijing United Family Hospital. Danielle is not only my friend, but she is also a biology student, so I knew she would love an adventure to an international hospital. On the way to the train station, Danielle showed me a list of words she’d translated, including “fetus,” “womb,” “uterus,” “embryo,” and “sonogram.” At the station we walked past a line of people extending out into the train station plaza, all hoping to buy tickets for the upcoming spring festival holiday. Relieved that we’d bought our tickets in advance, we had no trouble boarding our 10:15am train.

Our arrival in Beijing was rather rushed. When we scheduled our appointment a month ago, we scheduled it for 11:00am, figuring that we would take the 8:30 train from Langfang. Unfortunately, in the past month, Langfang eliminated all of the trains between 7:30am and 10:15am. When we tried to buy tickets for 7:30am train, we were told “don’t have,” so we had to buy the 10:15am tickets. I called and tried to reschedule the appointment, but the next available times were from 3:00-4:00pm, and we had to catch the 4:30pm train back to Langfang. The receptionist urged me to go ahead and try to get in to the hospital as soon as I could, and they would try to fit me in somewhere. After arriving in Beijing, buying our subway tickets and our return tickets to Langfang, we arrived at our appointment at 12:15pm, 1 hour and 15 minutes late. Each interaction with the nurses, doctor, and ultrasound technician began with an apology for our tardiness.

Because we were late, the nurse prepared us immediately for the doctor by weighing me, taking my blood pressure, and requesting a urine sample. Then she ushered Brad and me into the doctor’s office while Danielle waited in the hall. Dr. Chang Ling asked us some basic questions to begin, and then asked me to climb onto the examination table. She wrapped measuring tape around my belly, and then she measured vertically up to my belly button. She listened to the baby’s heartbeat again, and counted its beats. After the examination she again talked to us about the pregnancy. She asked if we wanted a blood test to check for chromosomal abnormalities, and she talked to us about a disease called “hemolysis” (Erythroblastosis Fetalis) that affects some couples when the mother has an O blood type and the father has A or B blood type (like us). The disease is very rare and most of the time is not severe, but they check for it anyway. She reminded me to keep taking my prenatal vitamins, and then talked about our next visit and how she’ll use the sonogram to see if the baby’s organs are all growing properly (and maybe see the sex of our child.) She left us with the nurse to have my blood drawn, and then we were off to the ultrasound room.

In the ultrasound room, we were immediately ushered into a curtained room where again I was asked to climb onto the examination table. The ultrasound assistant tucked cloth napkins around the top edge of my jeans, and then left the room. Brad and Danielle made use of the time by snapping multiple photos of me and of the room. The Chinese ultrasound technician chose that moment to pop her head through the curtain right between them, and after a glance at both shutterbugs, she quipped, “First baby?” We laughed, and she began her procedures, pouring cold jelly all over my belly and smearing it around with her magic wand.

In a few moments, we saw our little one, lounging in my womb as if in an oversized lazy-boy chair. She moved the wand to beneath the baby’s legs, but we could not see the sex of the child yet. Then, the baby began to move. It was amazing! It stretched, turned, rolled, crouched, flipped, kicked, pushed, and clenched and unclenched its fists. When I laughed we watched my womb gently bounce the baby. We could see its heart beating and how it breathed deeply in and out after the exertion. The technician pointed out its individual bones by name, and its spinal cord, stomach, and brain. She measured its cranium, and other points of reference, telling us that the baby is one week ahead of schedule in size. She remarked that it had a big head and big nose, and she said the big head must come from its father. We were laughing a lot and predicting what an active child it will be after such a lively dance routine. It still amazes me that I can’t feel a thing with a baby that energetic in my womb! It makes me think that I should be glad for any sleep I can get now, because once I start feeling those kicks I’ll be sleepless! Brad snapped photos (81 all together) constantly, and Danielle videotaped a large portion of it.

When we were finished, the technician printed us two copies of our sonogram. As I looked at them, I realized that this must be where people get their ideas for movies about aliens. The little transparent body looks both human and other-worldly inside its little cocoon. I handed Danielle my sonogram images while I put on my coat, and laughed when I later found her busily displaying them in bouquets of flower and on pregnancy magazine covers so that she could photograph them. Our lunch and ride home were full of excited chatter as we remembered the lively baby we had seen. I have never seen an ultrasound image of a baby in motion before, so I was entirely entranced by the entire thing. What a wondrous experience and what a miracle! Thanks be to our Father for the miracle of life! I am so thankful that I had the privilege of observing this miracle with my husband and our friend. What a great blessing! What a great Father!

Love,
Jessie

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” –Lk 2:19