The Abundant Wife

After 48 hours of red, watery eyes, runny nose, interrupted sleep, and general fussiness…Evelyn finally cut her 8th tooth today.  We’re both still recovering, but today there was marked improvement.  So for the last three days I haven’t walked in the morning.  Today I walked mid-afternoon when Brad could be on-call during nap-time.  It was hot and sunny outside, so I wore my beat-up old sunglasses, and ended up removing my sweatshirt a block from our house.

I couldn’t help admiring our house before I left.  In the last few days I’ve hung seven more of my paintings around the house and Scotch-taped about 15 of the kids’ artworks to the kitchen cabinet doors.  Then I unrolled a sheet of butcher paper, and duct-taped it to the dining room table where the kids could draw on it with crayons.  I also rearranged the built-in shelves in the living room, adding my art books, sketchbooks, journals, Bible studies, and travel guides to the pottery and candles that were already there.  Finally, when I returned to the house I swept the porch and pathway, brushing leaves and spiderwebs away from the display of pumpkins and acorn squash.  I love the satisfaction of a  job well-done, and enjoy my home when it is aesthetically-pleasing.

For me, one of the most difficult things about prayer is that the results can be hard to observe or measure.  I can see the difference in my home as soon as I hang a painting on the wall.  But my prayers may not be answered for years, or may not be answered in the way I hope.  However, the Bible does tell us that God hears and answers our prayers.

• “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”  Psalm 34:16
  
• “He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” Psalm 91:15
  
• “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Luke 11:9
  
• “Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.”  Isaiah 58:9
  
• “The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.”  Proverbs 58:9
  

Don’t be discouraged when you don’t see immediate results or measurable outcomes to your prayers.  God hears you, answers you, and is with you.  He will deliver you, honor you, and give you what you need.  If you have never done so before, I would encourage you to record your prayers, because you will begin to see the many ways God is answering your prayers.

Today as I walked, I had “Father Abraham” stuck in my head:

“Father Abraham had many sons.  Many sons had Father Abraham. 

I am one of them, and so are you.  So let’s all praise the Lord!” 

I hope none of you has the impression that I am a super-spiritual saint, or a prayer expert.  I am as easily distracted as the next mom of three.  So today I noted that “Father Abraham” has an excellent rhythm for walking.  I also noticed the yellow and brown leaves crunching under my feet as I walked, proof that autumn has finally come to sunny California.  I had to keep reminding myself that I was out to pray, and not to think through my to-do list, observe Halloween decorations, or mentally compose a blog post.

Once I was able to focus on my goal of prayer, I decided to pray for our youth leaders.  Last night was a Leaders Meeting at our house.  It’s always fun to hear all the ideas and plans in preparation for future clubs, parties, outreaches, Bible studies, and camp trips.  My prayer for my husband and our leaders is that every thing they do will point to Jesus, and Jesus alone.  No matter how great their plans, I pray that they will keep the main the main thing.  Youth Ministry is not about throwing the biggest party, playing the best games, singing the newest songs, or having the most kids show up.  It’s about Jesus.  I pray that they will never, ever, stop telling kids about Jesus.

Evelyn kept me up last night as she struggled with a head cold.  She needed more attention than usual today, so I didn’t get out for my walk until the sun was setting.  Brad encouraged me to go ahead and get out anyway, even though it was late.  The pink and orange sunset over the mountains contrasted with the deep blues and purples of the low clouds.  The outsides of most homes were dark and quiet, while inside lights and televisions illuminated little worlds.  Vehicles hurried by in the darkness, their bright lights warning of their comings and goings.  The school was dark except for the outdoor flood lights around the perimeter.

It seemed fitting that I would be walking in the dark today.  This morning we were greeted with news of the Sparks Middle School shooting in Sparks, Nevada.  Last year we learned about the Sandy Hook, Connecticut shooting.  My heart breaks every time I hear the news of another school shooting.  I taught art at a city school in Maryland for four years, I taught English in China for two years, and I have continued substitute-teaching over the years.  It isn’t difficult to imagine myself or one of my peers as the teacher today, or one of my former students as the student today.  Our area is not unfamiliar with school shootings either.  In 1992, a former Lindhurst High School student took the lives of his teacher and three other students, and injured ten others.

Today as I walked I prayed for the safety of the students and teachers in our public schools.  We live in a fallen, broken world.  In the last couple years we’ve learned that even marathon-runners and movie-goers are not safe from violence.  However, I think that the 50,000,000 children who attend our nation’s K-12 schools make up our country’s largest mission field.  Every Christian teacher, parent, counselor, secretary, aide, assistant, librarian, custodian, technician, youth minister, or other support person who works in a school has the opportunity to serve as a missionary to those students.  Many choose to love those students like Christ taught us to love others, and some even give their lives for them.

Tonight I hope you too will pray for our nation’s children, and for those who care for them during their school day.  Pray for their safety, and pray that those who know Jesus will be a light to those walking in darkness.

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.”  Isaiah 9:2

I am a very insecure person at times…especially among other women my age.  It’s easy to spot any other woman who has better hair, better make-up, nicer clothes, cooks better, hosts better, exercises more, is more creative, is more entrepreneurial, has better behaved children, yells less, laughs more, has a better house, is more generous, or more punctual, or just generally seems to have it all together.  As I go out for my walk each day, I cringe at what others must think of me.  My unkempt wet hair, pulled into a sloppy pony-tail.  The 6-year-old black fleece jacket I’ve never really liked.  The jeans with a hole near the ankle.  The athletic shoes and socks (better for my feet, but not very attractive), and the shirt I’ve worn two days in a row (which is on inside-out since I got dressed in the dark).  Applesauce on my sleeves, and baby snot on my shoulders.  I feel practical, not pretty.

It’s often easier to stay in the house, than go out and risk the imagined criticisms of others.  As I walk around a high school full of teenagers dressed to the nines, I often feel completely out of place.  They have the newest fashions and the newest technology, and here I am looking like the “Before” woman on TLC’s “What Not to Wear.”  I would much rather pray as Matthew 6 instructs: “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”  But for the sake of accountability and outreach, I am outside walking around in plain site, when I would rather crawl under a rock and hide.

Jesus told the disciples that “they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1).  I’m pretty sure that means we should pray whether we look good or not.  You should pray whether you wear stiletto heals, slippers, or Birkenstocks to work.  You should pray if your clothes come from Nordstrom or Goodwill.  In fact, “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong” (1 Corinthians 1:27).  So if you’re going about exhausted with your shirt on inside out, and baby puke down your back, God has chosen you!  When you don’t know what to pray, you don’t feel like praying, you don’t think God can use you, and you don’t feel like you look the part…keep praying and don’t give up.

Finally, don’t compare your insides to others’ outsides.  King David made himself “undignified” before all Israel (2 Samuel 6) to celebrate the return of the ark of the Lord, and Paul called himself a “fool for Christ”.  There’s nothing wrong with looking foolish if it’s for the right reasons.  Remember, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4).  God cares a lot more about what is going on inside your heart than he does about your appearance.  He sees your unfading beauty, and you have great worth in his eyes.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also…No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”  Matthew 6: 19-24

This week I have been wrestling with this verse.  For most of the last four years we have been trying to get out of the pit we dug for ourselves.  Yesterday I sat watching Dave Ramsey videos with all three of my kids.  I found myself wondering, “Why did we let our debt get so far out of hand?  Why did we listen to all the poor advice we were given?  Why did we buy a house instead of renting?  Why did we spend so much money on four and a half degrees we are not using?  Why did I choose to go to college out-of-state?  Why did I use my income to see the world instead of paying off my debts?  Why did we both take on a substantial car payment as soon as we got a full-time job instead of paying off our debt first?  How could we have been so stupid?”

As a child I was always a saver, so when we faced financial crisis during the winter of 2010, I went back to doing the thing I knew best.  But in the process, money became my idol.  We had left two full-time jobs in Maryland to serve in China, and do youth ministry in Minnesota.  And what did we get for doing God’s will for three years?  Deficit, debt, unemployment, dependence, embarrassment, criticism, humiliation, judgement, and shame.  In utter defeat we ran home to our parents and our old jobs, and I stopped writing about God anymore.  I felt like I had trusted God, and He’d let me down for the second time in my life.  I was not happy about it.

So I chose a new direction, and new role models.  We started paying off our debts.  I started a blog.  And all the while I pursued debt-freedom with a singlemindedness of purpose.  I gradually learned to trust God again, and see His work in my life.  One year after we were laid off, we were hired for another position in full-time youth ministry.  However, this last month in prayer for our high school students has reminded me that I cannot serve both God and money.  In loving money, I hated the One who gave it to me.  I loved the gift instead of the Giver.  I forgot that “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (Psalm 24:1).  I don’t plan on forgetting all I’ve learned about money management over these last few years, but I do hope that from here on I’ll be able to get my priorities in the right order.  I want to be certain that I am serving God, and my money is serving me, not the other way around.

“All the poor and powerless, and all the lost and lonely… all the thieves will come confess and know that you are holy.

All will sing out, Hallelujah.  We will cry out, Hallelujah.

All the hearts who are content, and all who feel unworthy… all who hurt will nothing left will know that you are holy.

Shout it, go on and scream it from the mountains.  Go on and tell it to the masses, that He is God.”

Yesterday my heart was heavy with burdens for our family, our ministry, and the students we serve.  I was discouraged and worried and tired.  However, by the end of the day, all of my fears and burdens had been relieved.  Once again I found myself amazed at the goodness of God.  I like the song lyrics above by All Sons & Daughters.  Someday all will see and know the one true God.  Someday all will sing and cry out, Hallelujah.

Today as I walked around the high school, I marveled at God’s wonders.  I prayed for my husband and our youth ministry, and the thousands of students we long to reach with the gospel of Jesus Christ.  But mostly I walked in amazement at the God is who is bigger than all of it.

 Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

“Hallelujah!For our Lord God Almighty reigns.Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!”‘  Revelation 19:5-7

One of my favorite hymns is Psalm 130, written by Martin Luther:

From depths of woe I raise to Thee
The voice of lamentation;
Lord, turn a gracious ear to me
And hear my supplication;
If Thou iniquities dost mark,
Our secret sins and misdeeds dark,
O who shall stand before Thee?

This morning as I walked, I felt discouraged at the brokenness around us: unemployment, lay-offs, betrayal, humiliation, mistreatment, poverty, abuse, debt, death, divorce, incarceration, addiction, illness, relocation, unhealthy lifestyles, abandonment, violence, and more.  None of us is immune from imperfections, or unaffected by brokenness.  We raise our voice of lamentation from the depths of darkness.  “Who shall stand before Thee?”

Though great our sins and sore our woes,
His grace much more aboundeth;
His helping love no limit knows,
Our utmost need it soundeth.
Our Shepherd good and true is He,
Who will at last His Israel free.
From all their sin and sorrow.

God’s grace abounds in the face of our sins and woes.  His love is unconditional.  He knows our every need.  He is good and true, and He will free us from all our sin and sorrow.

“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing^….Appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another.  We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.  Rejoice always;pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 11-18

Yesterday afternoon Brad got home from leading a 3 day trip (Friday-Saturday) with more than 30 kids and adults serving as Work Crew at an overnight camp.  When he got back he hit the ground running again, and he’s been busy all day today getting ready for another Club at the coffee shop tonight.  Late nights, early mornings, travel, meetings, kids, football, cross-country, tutoring, fund-raisers, training, Bible studies, grad classes, rehearsals, church.  The kids and I feel it too, this non-stop pace of ministry.  We race through autumn at break-neck speed, and I miss the slower days of summer.  I’m sure many of you face similarly busy schedules, full of deadlines, pressures, needs, relationships, and fatigue.

How does one make it through day after day, week after week, month after month at this rate?  I love the scripture passage above from 1 Thessalonians.  There are some key words in there–encourage, appreciate, esteem, live in peace, help, be patient, seek the good, rejoice, pray, give thanks.  We can do a lot to help and encourage one another as we labor side by side.  However, one thing I often overlook is that little phrase: “pray without ceasing.”

As you go about your busy day today, swamped with commitments and deadlines and other stress-inducing situations, I encourage you to pray.  I promise it won’t take any time away from your jam-packed day, and in fact, it will probably make you feel better.  Pray for the people who break your heart, the things that are keeping you up at night, the children that drive you crazy, the budget that just won’t balance, the boss you just can’t please, the annoying neighbors next door, the engine light in your car, and the endless list of things you need to get done.  Pray without ceasing.  God is bigger than your problems, and he can handle your burdens.  He will give you rest.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

Last night was our second Freshmen Football Spaghetti Dinner in the past month.  After two days of preparation, and clean-up that lasted until 11pm, I just could not get myself out of bed this morning until 8am.  Then we were off to Bible Study Fellowship shortly after 9am, while Brad walked to a nearby coffee shop to have breakfast with a student.

I hadn’t done any of my homework for class, but I knew that my kids (Naomi especially) would be heart-broken if we didn’t attend.  I had a difficult time staying awake through the lecture, but it was good to gain further insights into the gospel of Matthew.  This is the first time I’ve been able to get involved in a BSF class from the beginning, and I am really enjoying the opportunity to get to know some of the other women in my class.  We represent a wide variety of ages, so I really enjoy learning from their wisdom and life experience.  When I spend time with these other women, I feel stronger, and less alone, in my walk with Christ.

Needless to say, I didn’t get to walk and pray until late this afternoon.  It was hot by the time I got out, but again it was fun to see the school at midday.  I saw a dad catching for his teenage daughter as she pitched a softball to him.  I saw kids walking and riding bikes, and baseball players in the batting cages.  Today I prayed for all the Christians I know.  In all of the Christian groups and outreaches we participate in, there is always the threat of division, isolation, and broken relationships.  The enemy is always ready to steal, kill, and destroy the abundant life we believers have found in Jesus Christ (John 10:10).  I prayed that our youth ministry team will be like a cord of three strands, able to help one another, and a firm defense against the enemy.  Satan would love to see us divided, but together we are strong.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12