May 17, 2013: The Grand Finale

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Dear Friends,

It was just over 2 years ago when I first posted here at “The Abundant Wife.”  It had been 7 months since Brad was laid off from his job.  We were living in my parents’ basement with a toddler and a newborn.  My mom cooked most of our meals, and helped me with the kids.  After 3 years of full-time youth ministry, our year of unemployment felt meaningless and empty.  Our relationships, our marriage, and our faith were shaken.  We questioned our calling, cast blame, and grieved for what we had lost.  We paid off what debts we could while substitute-teaching and interviewing for new jobs.

In the midst of those dark times, I started this blog.  After discussing many different names, my mom suggested “The Abundant Wife.”  I am by nature a serious and pessimistic person, with a tendency to worry.  “The Abundant Wife” became a kind of therapy for my soul.  Here I could measure our progress, see improvement, and focus on the positive.  Focusing on what we had and what we were learning, instead of what we lacked, has been very good for me.  It was good to cultivate a spirit of gratitude.  I also have always dreamed of being a writer and illustrator.  I saw blogging as an opportunity to work toward that dream, using my writing and photography skills to supplement our income.

Two years later, life is quite different.  I am now a mother of three busy children.  My mother is 2700 miles away, so her assistance with cooking meals and child care is very limited!  I know many other bloggers have found ways to balance blogging and life, but for me blogging has taken away from my time as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.  Instead of being distracted by blogging, facebooking, pinning, photographing, and linking our lives, I just want to be present for my husband and children.  Frankly, I’m happier (and so is everyone else) when I’m on the computer less.

In addition, I have struggled with the need to constantly please a distant audience, to gain “likes” and see my Google Analytics spike.  I long to write about what I want to write about, not just what makes great “pins” on Pinterest.  Finally, I have struggled with my inability to make any income at all from blogging.  We have been on reduced salary three times this year already, so my time needs to spent on work that generates an income.  I just don’t have the time and knowledge necessary to handle the complexities of web design and advertising.  When I use my same skill-set of writing, photography, teaching, and administration to assist my husband in his work, it translates into a steady income for our family.

So for now I am quitting.  I want to do less of what I like, and more of what I love.  I want to spend more time with my family and friends.  Although I have always dreamed of being a writer and illustrator, more than that I have always dreamed of being a wife and mother.  I don’t want to miss out on my life, because I’m too busy blogging about it.  My husband only has one wife, and my children only have one mother, so I want to be there for them when they need me.

Thank you for reading, following, and liking “The Abundant Wife.”  I have learned so much in the last two years of blogging.  It has been a great adventure, and I would do it all over again.

Love,

Jessie

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8 Responses to “May 17, 2013: The Grand Finale”

  1. Brad says:

    So….are you virtually breaking up with me? 🙂

  2. Alex says:

    Oh noooo! You’ve got to do what’s best for your family but I will miss your posts! I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog and found inspiration when times were tough. Thank you and Best of luck!

    • Jessica says:

      Thank you! I’ve actually had such mixed feelings about it, that I only “quit” for about 24 hours. My husband is encouraging me to keep it up, even if I can’t write as often. I had surgery 1 1/2 weeks ago, and between that, 3 kids, and reduced salary, I’ve really been feeling overwhelmed lately.

  3. Jessica says:

    Best wishes to you and your family, whatever you decide is right for you. I enjoy your site/posts, but as a mother of 2 young children myself (2.5 years & 11 months) I completely understand not wanting to take time away from them & your husband We are working on packing for an upcoming move & as I go through our possessions I am asking myself do these things “bless me or stress me?” This question may be applicable for this season, it seems to bring you happiness to do it, but at this moment in your life does it “bless you” or “stress you” ? Again, very best wishes to you

    • Jessica says:

      Thanks for your thoughts! I must have read the same article. I’ve been thinking that (stress vs. bless) about my “stuff” around the house, but I hadn’t thought to apply it to my blogging. 🙂

  4. […] days ago I wrote about how I was quitting my blog.  As you can tell from the past week of blog posts, I’m having a difficult time letting […]

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