You’ve got to admit it: No one dreams of moving back in with their parents after they have reach adulthood. Especially not with a spouse and/or children as part of the arrangement. But with the current economy, more and more grown children are moving back in with their parents to make ends meet. How are you going to survive this move if it happens to you? Here are 10 tips for surviving when you must move in with your parents:
- Show Gratitude. Be grateful for your parents and others in their house who are willing to let you live with them during this difficult time. Write thank-you notes, and show an attitude of thankfulness and humility.
- Communicate. In addition to showing gratitude, express yourself. Discuss questions, schedules, responsibilities, concerns, frustrations, and anything else that might cause friction.
- Make Efficient Use of Your Time. Be intentional about your time under your parents’ roof. Pay off your debts, do odd jobs, and schedule job interviews. Discover new hobbies and skills. Achieving something will help to keep your hopes up.
- If Possible, Schedule A Date To Move Out. A deadline will help all parties with scheduling, goal-setting, and tolerance.
- Take Special Care of your Spouse…who did not grow up in your family. He or she will have the most difficult time fitting in with a different family culture.
- Find Times To Get Away. Schedule date nights, weekends, or entire weeks away in order to have time alone together as a couple or a family.
- Pitch-In Financially. Even if you are unemployed, you can find ways to contribute. Offer to pay for some groceries, utilities, phone, or Internet. Secure your own insurance, and cover your own medical and auto needs.
- Pitch-In Around The House. Wash the dishes, do the laundry, give rides, cook dinner, pack lunches, or clean the bathrooms and kitchen. Again, communicate on every topic to be sure that expectations are clear for both parents and grown children.
- Don’t Assume That Your Parents Are Babysitters. Be responsible for your kids, discipline them, and clean up after them. Be respectful of your parents’ rules and things. Ask their permission before you assume that they will watch your kids for you while you’re out.
- Appreciate the Perks. Your cost of living is low, you have babysitters available (who probably love your kids), you may not have to cook dinner every night, you have time to pursue new interests and learn new skills, and your kids have ample time to develop relationships with their grandparents.
Our family of four lived with my parents for almost exactly a year, and lived to tell the tale. You can survive too!
If you’ve had to move back in with your parents, how did you survive?